Fivildo 10v10 Bob’s Team

Posted on April 3, 2008
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10-10 with Bob’s Team who we lost to in pre-season 11-7. It was a great team effort although we could and probably should have won the match.

They were chavy little bas*ards as usual but we managed to shut them up with some man to man defending and clinical finishing which put us into a 4-2 lead early on. By half time we were 6-3 up I think. Then came the fight back as they used a multitude of subs and even someone who didn’t play for them to try and get back into the game.

Conceding two penalties was suicide but a great stop by Hadi on the second pen kept our heads up at 7-6.

We put clear water between us and them and stormed into a 10-7 lead. We then valiantly tried to cling on as the last five minutes seemed to go in slow motion. They pulled back to 10-10 with 2 minutes to go but in fairness we rallied and looked more likely to get the winner only to be denied by the post and the final whistle.

We again employed the defend our own half ‘cattenacio’ style which worked a treat.

Hadi - What can you say, another fine performance in goal topped off with a superb penalty save and some close range stops.

Saunders - Took to the new system like a duck to water although some of the shooting was more reminiscent of someone trying to shoot ducks from the sky. Never gave up and played his part in a great team effort.

Huw ‘Running on empty’ Roberts - A few goals from ‘goldenboots’ (someone else called me that once) but fatigue set in toward the end. The last couple of weeks of playing with (5,3 and 5) are beginning to take their toll on the old man.

Neil Burt - A typical Burt performance, solid in the tackle and managed to keep the ball away from what seemed like six chavs at a time. Went on a Crocodile Dundee (walkabout) into our area to which the ref said “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing there” and duly awarded the penalty.

Chris (Chopper) - Some great composed finishes from Chopper who is finding his feet again after a self imposed absence. Good to have him back and another who enjoys the cattenacio ’system’.

I hope we can get more than 5 next week beacause there are tougher tests to come but if we continue with the same level of determination and focus we showed last night I for one will be chuffed. Well done lads.

Fivildo 6-3 SJB

Posted on March 23, 2008
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So, two promotions in a row eh? Not a bad Gaffer eh? Yep, Fivildo are in division 1, by default if you will, but division 1 nonetheless. A bit of kidology was involved with Huw and the Gaffer discovering prior to kickoff about our promotion and keeping it to themselves. And it had the desired effect.

The 5 men of Fivildo put in a sterling performance full of grit, disipline and determination, resulting in a comfortable 6-3 victory over a side that had just finished 3rd in League 1.

Once again the catenacchio system was adopted to superd affect. The oppostion, much like France in the rugby last weekend, had no answer to the defensve wall. And when Fivilo broke out, they finished in clinical fashion.

Every single man played well. Hadi producing some superb saves in particular, Huw finishing with aplomb, Neil strong as an ox on the ball, Dave barnstorming as usual, and the Gaffer, well, at least he came back on following his broken ankle (to add to his knee injury and broken nail).

All in, a superb start to the season. Next week is going to be hard going against Inter Mynachdy, especially given the Gaffer’s enforced absence through injury, but it is certainly going to be a fascinating contest..

Match Highlights:

Hadi producing some top-drawer saves, excellent stuff my son.
Neil, holding off about4 of their players at any one time.
Some of the counter-attacking play was truly sublime.
The Gaffer, rolling about in pain, not once, but twice. And ending up moaning more about his snapped nail. The wuss.

Fivildo 10-8 Mackys Boys

Posted on March 13, 2008
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Well well.

It was the last game of the season, of what feels like quite a long campaign. 3rd place was sown up, so essentially there wasn’t much to play for. But of course, as always, the main thing to play for was pride.

Getting enough bodies proved to be a massive obsticle this week. Indeed, only 4 of us actually managed to make it. No keeper, and Browny showing amazing dedication of the cause driving all the way from Chepstow to run around with a bunch of sweaty blokes for 40mins….however, with only 4 committed men, against all odds, we secured a magnificent victory.

It was a tale of grit, determination, discipline, teamwork, and running that extra mile. It was an exhausting experience, but the fab four worked magnificently together, closing down spaces, defending resoulutely, and finishing off with some excellently taken goals.

Fivildo adopted the Italian cattenaccio system of half court defending, soaking up the pressure, and then being fiercly efficient with the opportunities which befell them in front of the opposition’s goal.

Slow, slow, quick, slow, slow, quick. That was the tempo of Fivildo’s hugely efficient perofrmance, reserving energy throughout. Everybody had a stint in goals, everybody contributed fully.

Quite simple, with iur backs against the wall, against an admittedly poor opposition, Fivildo took complete control of the match, never once being behind all 40 mins.

Tremendous stuff fellas. Truly awesome.

Fivildo: Jones.R; Roberts.H; Taylor.D; Brown.N

Match terrotory: Fivildo 23% - Macky’s Boys 77%

Possession: Fivildo 19% - Mackys Boys 81%

Result: Fivildo 10-8 Mackys Boys

Match Highlights:

The sheer look of “hey, we’ve absolutely nothing to lose” pre-kickoff. Classic.
Browny’s magnificent debut. Enthusiastic to the last, even got the referee involved with the banter. Lack of oranges at half time dissappointed the big man.
David Taylor - he actually out scored Huw (or Huge as Browny christened him). Tremendous effort from our own Tim Cahill.
The Gaffer’s on-the-line save when in goals (his elbow is killing him now)
Browny’s last goal. More lollipops than a fleet of ice cream vans, before cooly dispatching it into the bottom corner from a distance. Big Ron woulda been proud son.

Fivildo 21-6 Any Name Will Do

Posted on March 6, 2008
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Fivildo put in an excellent performance last night with a demolition job of Any Name Will Do. It was more a case Any Score Will Do with Fivildo relentless in their pursuit of scoring as many goals as they could.

The earlier revelation in the week of discovering that Fivildo were the lowest scoring team in the top 4 certainly struck a raw nerve, and the opposition were put to the sword by some near interplay, high-octane stuff.

Defensively, things were extremely sold, great covering, and it was great to have Hadi back in goals too. Going forward things were even better, like a hot knife through butter, Fivildo served up a treat of dynamic, attacking football.

Halftime the score was 7-3 to Fivildo, and 14 more goals were added in the second half. Not that many chances were squandered either, and the opposition were deflated well and truly.

The only downer of the night was TFP narrowly being defeated by Golden Balls, 6-5, meaning that realistically, 3rd place is the best Fivildo can hope for this season. With only one (or possibly two) games left this term, it’s up to Fivildo to finish on an absolute high.

Fivildo: H. Alzahid; R. Jones, D. Taylor, J. Lancaster, N. Burt, H. Roberts

Match Highlights:

Neil, getting nutmegged beautifully, by their scrawny best player, who finished in style.
Hadi’s excellent return back between the sticks. A couple of great saves (including a brilliant one in the first half as he was rushing back across the goal). To add to the mix, Alzahid even stepped in with a couple of assists thanks to his great distribution.
Neil, got megsed a peach, by their little chav who scored with the shot too.
Lanco’s return after a few weeks out. Capped off a great performance with a few very well taken goals, and some neat assists. Missed a sitter, but we’ll give him that. Kudos in particular to the lad for scoffing up a few last minute Haribo’s just seconds prior to kick off.
Neil, was nutmegged a treat, not sure if I’ve mentioned that yet.
The Gaffer managing to finish off a few moves with the new-found tactic of “hit it early”, a left footed misshit trickled into the far corner beautifully upon implementation of this philosophy.
N. Burt - NUUUTTTSSS!!
Huw, his usual potent self in front of goal, absolutely smashed in a few great goals. Looked more up for it than usual, took no prisoners. Must have scored about12 goals at least. The last one being the pick of the bunch - a neat turn, and spin in a tight space before a sween left footed finish. Feed the Huw and he will score, indeed.
Mr Neil Burt, wannabe Physiotherapist, getting megged by a lad, probably 10years younger than him.
Dave again with a feisty, strong performance. A couple of thunderbolts earning him a fair few goals. However, the highlight of the night being Huw, Rhys and Dave, attempting a tactical move from kickoff (number 3 from the chalkboard). I think the only part that worked was Dave passing the kickoff to the Gaffer, who returned it to Dave, who promplty landed on his face. Chuckles all around.
Lastly, the moment of the evening, Neil Burt, I said NEIL BURT, got nutmegged, NUTMEGGED I SAID, by a foetus. Genius. Left Mr Burt desolate and distraught all match.

Fivildo 5-12 Golden Balls

Posted on February 28, 2008
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The famous five that are Fivildo succame last night to the high school kids for a second time despite a valiant attempt. The blunt truth is that Golden Balls are the best side Fivildo have faced in their time involved with Powerleague. Sure Inter Twatdy are good, but for an all round game, Golden Balls are the cherry on top.

Quite simply, with only 5 players, and no conventional goalkeeper, Fivildo did as well as could be expected. GB turned up with about 17 youngsters who all looked the same, and were like robot dynamos all over the pitch. Organised in attack as well as defence, Fividlo simply couldn’t handle the quickness of feet.

They also possess the best player Fivildo have faced with the black kid who sadly moans far too much for a player of his ability. The most stunning thing is that apparently this kid doesn’t play football, he’s a 100m athlete and triple-jumper primarily. Well that speed certainly showed last night as he glided at will past defender after defender all evening long. His first involvement of the night saw him almost recreate the Ricky Villa 1981 FA Cup final goal with a wonderful run.

Things got worse for Fivildo when they had to endure 2mins with only 3 outfield players as Dave, probably deservedly, got sinbinned for a pretty string challenge. It was quite a physical game, and GB could easily have also had a player binned, but it was played in good spirits.

So running on empty, the closest Fivildo got was within 4 goals all evening, GB ran our highly deserved victors.

2nd division football awaits Fivildo next season no doubt now.

Match Highlights:

Daley Thompson’s Ricky Villa run
Daveooo’s thundering left foot drive that hit the post
Neil’s near-wonder goal with a volleyed back-heel from against the boards
DT getting sinbinned. No complaints about that one!
Huw, quite frankly, attempting to deck the oppo at every given moment. Good work clart.
The Gaffer’s attempted kickoff where the plan was to flick the ball in the air for DT to volley goalwards. The ball is probably still airbourne as I type…nice idea tho
Huw’s wondergoal from kickoff. Tapping it quickly against the side of the oppo’s shin (who was stood 30cm away) getting the rebound, dribbling ahead, and finishing it of. Genius. Pure genius.

Fivildo 7-5 TFP

Posted on February 21, 2008
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The Professionals

Down to the bare 5, and minus the regular keeper, last night bore witness to a sterling performance from the Fivildo boys against the team that had defeated Inter Mynachdy a few weeks earlier.

It was a thoroughly professional display, despite going 2-0 relatively early on. Notoriously slow starters, Fivildo got stronger as the game went on and ended up confortable winners, even if the score line doesn’t truly reflect this opinion.

Huw, “fresh” from his honeymoon in Whistler, began the game inbetween the sticks, Gloves wearing not a pair keeper gloves, but a pair of Neil’s thermal mitts. As a result, Roberts made the vast majority of his saves with his feet. The rest of the team managed to battle back from the early deficit, and despite having many shots on goal, went in 2-1 down halftime. Indeed, as per the norm, the opposition keeper was having quite a game.

So, second half saw the goalkeeping liability that is the Gaffer don the thermal gloves, with Huw making his outfield comeback. Still however, despite numerous excellent efforts, a combination of the post and some excellent goalkeeping kept Fivildo at Bay. However, it wasn’t long before the floodgates opened and Fivildo really began to turn the screw. A few excellent goals were scored, and even the Gaffer managed to look semi-decent in goal.

So, it’s still all to play for this season…

Match highlights:

The Thermal Gloves. Genius.
Neil somehow managing to not get tackled all evening long, and keeping possession of the ball. Majestic sir.
Huw, as if he’d never been away, plundering a few bobbly left-footers in the bottom corner. How the hell does the bastard do it?
Johnno’s rasping long ranger, which looked destined for the back of the net, only for the keeper to once again be Fivildo’s nemesis.
Daveooo’s crunching tackle on the left wing and subsequent corker of a finish to the bottom left-hand-corner.
The 5-a-side version of a 9-dart finish we produced in the second half. Kickoff > winger > striker > Goal. Three touches only needed. Excellent. Good darts claaarts.

Good darts

Results/Table 14/02/08

Posted on February 14, 2008
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13/02/2008:

GOLDEN BALLS 8 v 7 ASK YOUR MUM
FIVILDO 4 v 13 INTER MYNACHDY
MACKYS BOYS 0 v 13 TFP SCHEMES
ANY NAME WILL DO 13 v 10 BAKED BEANS

WELSH LEAGUE WEDNESDAYS: Division 2

GOLDEN BALLS 10 27 (+124 GD)
INTER MYNACHDY 10 24 (+142 GD)
FIVILDO 10 24 (+119 GD)
TFP SCHEMES 9 18
ANY NAME WILL DO 9 9
BAKED BEANS 9 6
MACKYS BOYS 9 6
ASK YOUR MUM 10 0

Report: Fivildo 4 v 13 Inter Mynachdy

It was a case of then there were 5 last night with Lanco even leaving his long lost friend who he’d not seen for 8 years at home with his missus to answer the last minute sos…while others put there feet up watching the footy on the box!! Well those 5 that were left took on Inter C**** who had a squad of 11 after being defeated last week, and they came out the blocks very quickly while we were still asking the question what are we doing here?? Four goals down after 5 minutes made it look like there was a very long night ahead, but a little toe poke from Shorrock started the mini revival with us scoring the next 3 and drawing level against the odds with some very smart 2 touch football! However the problems started to arrive towards the end of the half when they kept making subs every two minutes and they went into the break 7 - 4 with the fresher legs… The 2nd half was similar to the 1st, we were digging in making life hard for them and then we got a little opportunity to maybe get back into it…YES a penalty was awarded when the keeper handled outside the box, up stepped Breaky who’d mist has last 2 and promptly dragged it wide of the post…hands on head summed up the rest of the 2nd half as they started to grind us down with some needing a breather!! I’ve got to say “and we say this every week” there keeper made some very smart saves all night to deny us we were always in the game, it was only until the last 5 when the legs, desire etc started to wane and Inter were presented with a couple of tap ins to give a slightly unfair edge to the score!

Well done to all, Chris & Hadi as well as we played a good game!!

Fivildo 12-7 Baked Beans

Posted on January 31, 2008
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Beans on toast

A cold January evening. What better than a hot plate of Baked Beans on toast eh? (see what I did there?)

Yep, a routine victory last night, nothing more nothing less. Fivildo cantered to a healthy lead, letting their foot off the gas at the end. We never fully got into our stride, but then we seemed to defend well and pounce on the break in decisive fashion.

To be honest we should have been more ruthless as seeing as we are now 3rd in the table with Inter Boys having a +69 goal difference and Golden Balls +56, we’ve only got +46…Hmmm, bugger. I guess if we win all out matches then its quite irrelevant though.

Several moments of note last night. Firstly and foremost, in his last match of freedom before he is security tagged for life, Huw made a spectacular return after about 7months away (feels like it), typically scoring with literally his first touch of the ball. How does the bastard do it?? He’ll be sorely missed over the next fortnight that’s for sure.

Additionally, Shorrock missed a sitter of a one-on-one from merely a couple of yards out leaving our feistiest player extremely frustrated! Lo and behold though, the Gaffer attempted to make ammends and lessen Shorrock’s misery in some style. Yes after last week’s masterclass in air kicking, Jones ensured he hit the ball in full last night. And How.

Click here for a detailed diagram of how the Gaffer plundered a volley from 0.6m out, and ended up whacking the ball into orbit. Indeed, Aircrash Investigators from the British Airways Boeing 777 crash at Heathrow a few weeks back are cross referencing their records against any Fivildo matches to see if any stray Gaffer attempts on goal were the root causes of the plane’s fall from the sky..

Neil attemped in turn to make the Gaffer feel better with a lofted attempt of his own, but pathetically didn’t even get it out of the court. Pah!

Match highlights:

Not actually getting a warm up in at all that featured a ball. Genius.
Dave once again plundering a few in! Only to tarnish this with a dozy backpass to Hadi - you could see the panic in Hadi’s eyes “shit, I shouldn’t touch it” he was thinking.
Shorrock’s miss
The Gaffer’s own Hailey’s Comet attempt at goal. Even the ref took the piss…
Huw “midas” Roberts confessing that he’d felt sick all afternoon at the prospect of him loosing all his freedom this coming weekend and being comdemmed to a life sentence..
The Jeremy Beadle Award (RIP) goes to Neil for playing with a dislocated thumb for about 25mins before noticing his hand was deformed. Good work fella.
The accompanying entourage having a pair of nunchucks on them! No, seriously! Jesus…

Fivildo 14-3 Mackys Boys

Posted on January 24, 2008
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Fivildo got back on the horse last night in the sense that they dominated proceedings from start to finish. Indeed it took about half an hour for the opposition to register their first goal - a complete contrast to the 4-0 headstart given to the previous week’s opponents.

A slick, effective performance against admittedly a very poor team, leaves Fivildo 3rd in the table, level on points with leaders Golden Balls, and second placed Inter Twats. Amazingly a solitary goal separates all three sides too. So ever goal - either scored or conceeded, counts at present..

As for last night, as mentioned, Fivildo were a step ahead all evening, combining well and letting the ball do the work. Defence was solid too giving Hadi a relatively comfortable evening between the sticks.

Some of the goals were excellently taken, Hadi providing more than one assist with some excellent throws out, and Daveoooo filling his boots with about 70goals, taking over the Huw Roberts Goalscoring mantle. Amazingly, until the Gaffer’s curse struck, Dave’s shot/goal ratio was 137%.

Ah the Gaffer’s curse. Surely his worst outfield (attacking) performance of the season (the worst was his GK effort last week). Put through on no less that 42 occasions, he only even managed to hit the ball about twice. He couldn’t even disguise it with a feint, or a dummy. He comounded things further with a magical bit of control when he trapped the ball and bounced it up onto his fist, and to add further salt to the wound, following several calls of “should have gone to specsavers son!” the Gaffer, upon seeing hoodoo side Golden Balls warming up for the next game, informing Neil that their best player, the black guy, wasn’t playing this week obviously. Upon which Neil enquired “what about that black guy stood in front of you then?” errr, yeah, a bad night for the Gaffer…

Match Highlights:

The Gaffer rather conveniently, ‘forgetting’ his wallet thus forcing somebody else to pay for once. We’ll have to keep an eye out for that one, altho not one of the gaffers dud orbs innit.
Some of the interplay was excellent, and resulted in muchos goals thankfully.
Daveooo “Roberts” stunning onlookers with a majestic display of power finishing. Reported sightings of him passing a brown envelope in the car park post match to the oppo’s keeper remain unconfirmed…
Neil’s left footed loft into the top corner….of the cage. Shouts of “Fore!” were heard from nearby Whitchurch golf club….
The Gaffer’s stunning attempts to avoid the ball at all costs, especially when put clean through. Daveooo caught this illness late on thankfully to make him feel better.